Forgiveness

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Every Sunday evening, my family gets together with a few other families for a focused time of fellowship and food - for our bodies and souls.  One could call this a small group, missional community, bible study or even, church.

The past few weeks we've been going over the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13) and it was these specific lines that lead me to do a post on forgiveness:

"Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors"

This could also read - sins, trespasses - but what does it really mean?  And what is FORGIVENESS really?  I have been wrestling with these 2 questions this week and the concept of forgiveness even longer.

In the Lord's Prayer, we are asking God to forgive us as we have forgiven those who have sinned/wronged us.  Wow . . . in as much as I forgive, I will be forgiven?!  That is a hard thought to process.  Read Matthew 6:14 - " For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."  And this is not the only time it is mentioned.  In Matthew 18:21,22, "Peter asks 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven'".  And then he proceeds to tell the parable of the king who forgave his servant a vast amount of debt, but then the servant proceeds to throw a fellow servant into prison for a much, much smaller amount of debt.  When the king hears of this, he becomes angry and has the first servant delivered to the torturers (!) until he can repay all of his debt.  (Matt. 18:23-34).  Then there is this in verse 35 - "So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses".  

How can we, as mere humans forgive on this level?  


What sticks out to me about these verses?  They are not talking about forgiving our enemies - though there are plenty of those in God's Word - but forgiving our brothers and fellow servants .  I, personally, find it easy to forgive those I am not super close to.  It seems easier to me to forgive someone and offer them grace, see the situation through their eyes if they are not in close relationship to me.  It is so much more difficult to not let bitterness and unforgiveness build up when I have to interact with that person every day, when I see them not changing, when it hurts so much more because of our close relationship.  But not only does Christ call us to forgive our enemies, but our brothers (family), fellow servants (other Christ followers) . . . those we are close to.  Does this seem impossible to you?  If I'm being honest, it does to me!  But God has also given us His Spirit and tells us in Matthew 19:26 - "but with God all things are possible," and Jeremiah 32:17 - "There is nothing too hard for You."

First, what is forgiveness NOT?

Forgiveness is not the absence of angers at sin, forgiveness is not forgetting the wrong, forgiveness is not forgoing justice, forgiveness is not enabling and forgiveness is not necessarily reconciliation, as that requires both sides participating.

So then, what IS forgiveness?

I found this series of articles - specifically 1,2,& 5 by Focus on the Family, extremely helpful and have pulled a few quotes out that really seemed to speak to me. (Note: these were written for those dealing with divorce/infidelity - this is NOT something my husband and I are working through and I pray for protection in our marriage regarding this - but the articles are very applicable to forgiveness and the process it is).

Most importantly, forgiveness is a PROCESS - it may happen overnight, it may not.  It may take days, weeks, months and even years to truly embrace forgiveness.

"Forgiveness is a gift of God's grace . . .  and we must give ourselves the grace our healing requires as we move forward to full forgiveness."

 Many times, a situation requires time, perspective, more information and rebuilding the relationship. I think that saying "I forgive" and trying to act as if everything is the same doesn't allows us to take the time to really be open to complete forgiveness.

"When we've been deeply wronged something inside yearns for justice. If we don't forgive, our desire for justice becomes revenge, subjecting us to the bondage of bitterness and self-righteousness. When we choose to forgive, the justice we seek is for the other person to feel our pain."

Wow, I don't know about you, but that hits the nail on the head.  Isn't that usually what I want - an acknowledgement and validation for what I am feeling and going through?!  But even if I don't get that "justice", I am still freed. When I forgive others I am released from the bondage unforgiveness can cause in my own life - bitterness, resentment,etc.

True forgiveness takes place when we release our hurt and let go of it, acknowledging that our spouse  is a fallen human being, who is perhaps doing the best he or she can with the limited resources in their emotional, relational, and spiritual arsenal. When we anchor our hearts on the rock of God's love, the forgiveness of our spouse enables us to release our pain into God's healing hands. As grace shatters the threat of growing bitterness, it plants the seeds of a more intimate relationship. 

Where does this lead me?  To this:

Forgiveness is releasing the person who wronged me - whether a spouse, friend, child, co-worker, etc. - and myself from the wages and bondage of sin (death) as God has released me! Forgiving someone doesn't place them in right standing with God, it places me in right standing with God! I think I need to hear that again :

Forgiving someone doesn't place them in right standing with God, it places me in right standing with God!

When Christ died for me and I accepted His free gift, I no longer had to pay the punishment for my sins - they are completely forgiven. I praise Him for that and pray that He will enable me to pass on that forgiveness to those around me.

Rita

Book Review: The Eagle Tree by Ned Hayes

I am a proud Amazon Prime member.  And what, you ask, does that have to do with a book review?  As an Amazon Prime member, I get first and free reads of The Kindle First Pick books!  (Read one of next month's new releases now for FREE as a benefit of your Amazon Prime membership.)!! 

In the month of April, this book, The Eagle Tree by Ned Hayes was on the list.  Honestly, what drew me to it was the cover.  I know, I know, never judge a book by it's cover . . . but I did and I am glad I did.  

                                              

I was not prepared for such a touching and engaging read.  The author must have had some very insightful experiences that enables him to so convincingly offer the first-person perspective of a 14 year old autistic boy.   As we meet and follow Peter March Wong, we seem him processing all that is going on around him as his home life is changing.   While he doesn't seem to quite grasp a lot of the reasons and effects of the transition, we can surmise a lot from what he does tell us.  The one thing that remains of steadfast importance are the trees. And it is from the trees, or should I say the tree-tops, that the plot of the story begins to take shape.  This journey that March is on, regarding the Eagle Tree, leads him on a personal journey to make sense of and interact with the world around him and those in it in a new and different way from how he has interacted in the past.

There are many other characters introduced in this story that surround March and play very important roles.  From his mother & uncle, to fellow students and other tree lovers, these characters are as important to March as the vast varieties of trees are to a forest.  March frequently discusses the roles each tree, regardless of variety, age or, even if it is dead or alive, play in the ecosystem and that is reflected by the importance and variety of the characters that surround March as he grows.

That said, there is a LOT of tree information.  Due to the character trait that March has - focusing obsessively on one topic - trees, I learned about tree growth, decay, death, the importance of trees on the world and much, much more.  I did like that about this book.  While I was following this engaging story, I was also learning something.  I enjoyed the way the author used a common trait of autistic children to convey a vast quantity of fairly specialized information.  

But what I learned most about, and has given me a fresh perspective on those with autism, those who have an autistic child and those who relate (especially those who relate well) to an autistic child, is the difficult beauty of autism.  True to many of the characteristics and traits of those with autism, March's perspective gave me insight into the mind of an autistic child and the conviction that someone with autism sees the world in a way that is different from those without, but that is wonderful on it's own.  

I would highly recommend this book.  It was an enjoyable read, with an insightful and compelling story, from a perspective I had never read from before. And it's coming out in May!  You can reserve your copy today ;)

Rita

Changing How We Do Chores - In 4 Easy Steps!

Last month, I wrote a post here about how we are in the process of changing how we do chores and technology at our home.  This is a follow-up post-most likely one of many-as this is a process that we are working through, not just a quick, easy fix.  A quick, easy fix would be: 1) Hire someone to clean my home, 2) Get rid of all the technology in our home.  Granted, I like quick, easy fixes, but I don't think either of those are realistic for us right now :)  I guess I could start a Go-Fund Me site for my cleaning bill?


Step One:

Since this is not a quick, easy fix . . . I did some research (aka browsing Pinterest) and printed off LOTS of printable,Thankfully, I also have a super-organized friend who has made her own printable!! (and she's letting me share it with you!) She uses it for her Spring Cleaning and breaks down what needs to be cleaned in each room.  Since her form is for Spring Cleaning, there were a few things on it that I could take off for our weekly cleaning - they don't need to be done every week or even, every month.  I do not use all the printables, but when processing all this, I need something in my hands to look at.

Step Two:

Next, I looked at what our week looks like - this is important because every family their own rhythm, their own routine.  For example, we have co-op on Wednesdays for 12 weeks in the Spring and 12 in the Fall.  This means, that on Wednesdays, there will be no cleaning!!  After a busy day at co-op, I'm lucky to get dinner on, let alone tackle anything else.  Our trash gets picked up on early Tuesday.  Also, I like to keep Sundays as a day of rest (no chores, no technology-unless it's a family movie).  Take a look at your family rhythms and routines and decide what would work best for you!

Step Three:

After looking at what needs to be done and what days we have to do it, I then began placing specific rooms to be cleaned and chores to be done on a specific day. I ended up using the blank chore chart from this site.  I've opted to print her blank page with the days out and laminate it . . . I like the flexibility of that option :)

Step Four:

And here it is . . . I started to s-l-o-w-l-y implement these.  So far, these have all been a whole family effort.  Really, it's "ok guys, it's time to all clean the kitchen.  Here is what needs to be done, what would you like to do?"  It was helpful that half a week into it we had Spring Break.  That meant all the kids were at home and we had a little bit more time.  It wasn't helpful that I went out of town for 3 days . . . I guess that is where adjusting one's expectations come into play.  I did leave a list of things to be done each day - not the complete list - and they did get done!  For me, that's a win.

We are now officially on week 2 - and I am making some adjustments as we go along.  For example, do I really need to wash our sheets every week?  After reading this . . . yes, yes I do!  But our extra blankets - I'm OK washing every other week, less in the summer if we aren't using them.  And cleaning those windows . . . in my dining room (where the dog slobbers all over the back door) every week or twice a week! Bedroom windows . . . I am good with once a month.  Again,this is where there is no set rule, but it is best to look at your family and your schedule and do what fits best for you!

And I've had one unexpected blessing come from this.  I can look around my house and not feel ANY guilt for the things I see that need to be done. I know they are on the schedule and will get done by the end of week.  And that is WONDERFUL! Oh, yeah . . . any my house is clean! Win, Win!

Below is what I've come up with:

• Daily - Fill/Empty Dishwasher, Wipe down Kitchen, Make Bed

• Monday - Kitchen & Dining Room; wipe table & counters, sweep/mop floor, vacuum rugs, dust, clean windows, wipe down stove, micro, fridge, dishwasher & oven. Take out Trash. Laundry; Boy 3, kids sheets.

• Tuesday - Bedrooms; Pick-up, dust & vacuum, clean windows (1/month). Laundry; Baby Girl, kids blankets.

• Wednesday - Laundry; Husband, Master bedroom sheets & blankets.

• Thursday - Living Room & Back Room; Pick-up, dust & vacuum, clean windows (1/month). Laundry; Boy 1, Bathroom rugs, towels & kitchen towels.

• Friday - Bathrooms; floors, counters, sinks, tub, mirrors & toilets.  Take out Trash. Laundry; Me, all Norwex.  

• Saturday - Breezeway & Entry; floors, pick-up, dust, clean windows (1/month). 

• Sunday - Rest! Laundry; Boy 2.

Next up . . . adding extra chores for pay/tech time, putting parameters on technology use . . . oh, the fun to come . . .

Rita

And again - my disclaimer: "And, with anything, please do not let these add to your list of 'things I should be doing' or 'yet another thing I need to do', but use these resources as ideas, motivation to lighten your load, not add to it!"

On Guard Essential Oil Party Make & Take - Easy How To!

I'm getting ready to host my 2nd Essential Oil Make and Take!

My goal has been to hold a Make & Take every other month.  You can read about my first Essential Oil 101 Class here.  The 101 Class is a great intro to Doterra Essential Oils and the rollerball Make & Take's were easy to do and a big hit!

This month I am focusing on Doterra's Protective Blend (aka On Guard).  With all the sickies going around this year, I thought this one would be a great one - and we get to make some fun stuff!

So what do I love about the Protective Blend??  It's main ingredients are Wild Orange, Clove, Cinnamon, Eucalyptus and Rosemary.  It supports the immune system*, is a natural way to clean around the home and diffuse to clean the air, supports the respiratory system*, supports the body's natural antioxidant defenses*, protects against environmental threats and it smells amazing!

So, what are we making?

On Guard Foaming Hand Soap - $6.50
On Guard Hand Sanitizer Spray - $4.50
On Guard Cleaning Spray - $4.00
Flu Bomb Rollerball - $5.00

Once I had set the day, time and location (Thanks again for hosting, Mom!), I set up a FB event.  FB events are an easy way to get the word out, invite friends and have a central location to post information and updates.  I also sent out the class information in a monthly email to all those on my Doterra email list.

Next on the list - put together a supplies list.  For any EO product, storing in glass containers is the best option.  Aromatools.com or Amazon.com are both great places.  I have an Amazon Prime account, so I get free shipping too! Just be forewarned - some of the bottles I ordered were NOT glass - I should have read the fine print better :(  I use glass containters for the sanitizing spray, rollerballs and cleaning spray as these will last longer.  Because of the shorter usage life of the foaming hand soap, I purchased some plastic bottles from DoTerra.  They work well and are a great price.

Once I had my containers, I browsed through some EO books and Pinterest for some great recipes.  I did tweak the hand soap and sanitizer recipes a little.  But that is what I love about making my own products at home - I can add any of my favorite oils, try a few different options out and see what works best for me!

Foaming Hand Soap

Hand Sanitizer

This past weekend, I spent some time making copies of the recipes, posting the costs for each Make & Take product and a reminder on the event page.

And I think I am ready to go!  Happy Oiling!

Here are my recipes for you to use:

On Guard EO Recipes

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

5 Tips for Surviving and Thriving at a Homeschool Convention

It's that time of year for a homeschooling mom.  The time of year when we are already planning the next year, even before we've finished this year.  Maybe it's because we've started spring cleaning and are downsizing our book shelves or maybe it's because we are ready to be done with this year and move on.  And part of moving on is looking forward to what is to come, right?

It may also be because we are beginning to run on empty.  In Northern Indiana, a long winter and slow to get going Spring only adds to that feeling.  We are trying to finish strong . . . or just finish!  Enter  - the homeschool convention.

Each state usually hosts their own homeschool convention. In Indiana, the IAHE (Indiana Assoc. of Home Educators) hosts their convention in Indianapolis.  This convention funds most of it's work here in our state.  Besides the state homeschool convention, there are secular and religious conventions, unschooling and any other sort of educational theory conventions.

This year I chose to attend the Great Homeschool Convention in Cincinnati.  I had heard about this convention from other homeschool moms, all with positive reviews, and made my plans to go.

Why go?  This is a great opportunity to get some encouragement, look at all sorts of curriculum, hear a variety of speakers on subjects such as parenting, homeschool laws, worldview, specific homeschool needs, homeschool methods, etc.  And there is something to be said for being surrounded by people who are like-minded and have made the decision to educate their children at home and share many of the same joys and struggles.

Here are a few tips to help you make the most of it:

1.  Go with someone!  This can be a sister, a homeschooling friend or two, or, even better, your spouse.  You will be presented with a LOT of information.  It is not only great to have someone to hang out with, but someone with whom you can discuss and process all the information you hear.  You can also split up some of the topics/speakers you want to hear and compare notes.  This is also a great time to just be YOU (not mom or teacher) - whether with a friend or spouse, getting out of your normal routine is always rejuvenating.

My sister and fellow homeschooling mom - can you tell she's happy to be here?!

2.  Make a list! Do you already know what writing program you want? Are you trying to decide if you want to use Math-U-See or Saxon?  Are you in need of a planner?  Writing down a specific list will help you keep focused when you walk in the vendor hall.  There are a lot of resources out there . . . some are for you and some are not.  When you have a list of needs, curriculum to look at (nothing like actually holding it in your hand and looking through it) and items you could use, it will help you stay focused.

3.  Pick a variety of speakers and topics!  These conventions offer a vast array of topics and speakers for about every viewpoint, need or want as a parent and homeschooler.  The best advice I got was to choose some encouraging speakers (So You Want to Quit Homeschooling?) along with ones that may meet a direct need (The Struggling Reader).  Looking through the speakers and topics ahead of time will help you weed out what you don't need and focus on what you do.  And don't be afraid to slip out (tip 3b . . always sit on the end of the aisle in case you want/need to leave) if the talk is not what you thought it was going to be.

Just a few of the speakers - Jason Beardsley, Steve Demme, Ann Voskamp

4.  If you like a speaker - show it! Go to more of their talks, go talk the them afterwards, buy their book, sign-up for their email lists.  I found out I was enthralled by how the brains of boys and girls work differently (Michael Gurian), so I looked up his next talk and went to that.  Most of the speakers are there at a vendor booths also and love to interact, answer questions and talk about the information they've given you.  This is a great chance for you, yourself, to learn more - take it!  Take notes, photos of their slides, etc.

I'll be checking these books out soon!

5.  Purchase the curriculum you know you need!  I went in knowing I needed some consumables (workbooks for math, writing books).  I could pick these up and save some money by not paying shipping.  Even if the vendor didn't have a copy on hand, some offer free shipping if the order is placed at the conventions (Math-U-See and Rainbow Resources were two suppliers I ordered from and could choose this option).  You can always look for wants later, but get the stuff you need now. (tip 5b . . . bring a rolling cart or suitcase. This saves your back and arms when lugging that curriculum around!)

That's it!  Not only is a homeschool convention a great place to go to expand your own learning and help you as an at-home teacher, but it is a great place to browse and purchase curriculum and get some much need encouragement on this journey of educating your children.

Happy Homeschooling!

Rita